Jeremy L. Berg

On this week of my 30th birthday I am sharing some personal journal entries that provide a window into the trials and triumphs I faced during the decade of my tumultuous 20s.  

I experienced a radical faith transformation during my first 2 years of college.  Almost overnight I went from being a sports jock who had never enjoyed reading a single book to becoming a highly intellectually driven, book-crazed academic whose new obsession was studying God’s Word.  My new found faith commitment completely rearranged my priorities, interests, goals and the rest.  The following journal entries are some of my oldest glimpses into a very raw, immature yet passionately devoted young follower of Christ desperately seeking God’s will for his future.  

March 9, 2000

I am so confused with school right now.  I have no direction or goals at all right now with school.  I am trying to see your ways Lord.  It could be that you are waiting to reveal to me my calling in life until I have established and grown more strong in my faith.  Maybe you have removed that distraction (i.e., career calling) from my life so I can focus on you right now.  Or perhaps you are making me find my calling by looking to you.  

March 15, 2000

God is working in me in big ways.  I feel like I have lost all desire and passion for everything but God!  I find no joy in school, classes, exercise, work, sports and I even lack desire to hang out with a lot of my old friends.  Instead, I am reading the Bible more and the Word is moving me…

It seems like God has cleared away all of my former passions so that they won’t distract me from Him.  My plan/will is to find a major I like and graduate in four years.  God’s plan/will is for me to grow in Him now before He reveals His awesome plan for my future.  

April 1, 2000

Right now I am sitting high on a cliff at Pinnacle Rock overlook in West Virginia. I can see for miles and miles up here.  The tree covered mountains look soft from up here.  I’m sure it is more beautiful in summer and fall.  If I had the ability to create a world, I couldn’t do this good of a job. God, you have given us tall trees of many colors, rocky mountains, green rolling hills and valleys, snow covered mountains, many seas of blue and green, icy waters of the glacier-filled arctic, fields of gold, deserts of soft sand — what more can I say?  Well, lots!  

Most of all, you have placed me among all this beauty with a purpose to fulfill.  I am not sure what this purpose is right now and that makes me a little scared. However, I need to remind myself that it is not my business to know what tomorrow brings.  You want me to live each day one at a time in order that I won’t miss what you have blessed me with each individual moment.  If one is focused on tomorrow, they are likely to miss what God has for us today. So, I don’t have a major yet.  Big deal!  

Are there any two lessons more important for a young college student to learn than (1) to seek God’s unique calling on one’s life and (2) leave what tomorrow will bring in the wise and sovereign hands of God?  It took every ounce of faith I had to utter those reckless final words: “So, I don’t have a major yet.  Big deal!”  Don’t be fooled: It was a HUGE deal for me, but God was becoming even bigger.  Thank the Lord!