Here’s a relevant topic for youth pastors. How do you address the topic of “cursing” with teens without sounding stuffy and pharasaic, old-fashioned and legalistic? I believe Brett McCracken comes at it from the right angle and with the right message. It’s not so much about the rightness or wrongness of actual words, but rather a question of our public witness.
Brett McCracken in his article “Christian Cussing” at Conversantlife.com says,
“It has less to do with anything inherently wrong with the words themselves and everything to do with our Christian witness. Even if you disagree that certain words are “profane,” you can’t change the cultural perception. You can’t change a taboo. And as long as certain words are viewed as offensive, profane, or taboo, Christians should make every effort to avoid speaking them. We are called to a higher standard, right? Aren’t we supposed to be set apart? For the same reasons that we should avoid drunkenness and drugs and other “worldly” activities, we should avoid cursing. We are the salt of the earth. We need to discipline ourselves as such.
When I am around Christians friends and I hear them cussing up a storm, I cringe. It makes me sad. The words themselves don’t necessarily bother me. They aren’t what make me cringe. Rather, it is the fact that my Christian brothers and sisters are so recklessly abandoning scruples in what I daresay is one of the most crucial areas of our Christian witness: our language. Just read James 3:1-12.
Not using profanity in today’s world is noticeable. It is the sort of abstaining activity that people will take note of. What an opportunity for Christians to truly show restraint and demonstrate the different-ness of the Christ-like life! I’m not saying we should chastise non-Christians for using bad language or avoid movies or music with salty language; I’m just saying that we, as Christians, should set an example by being different.”
He goes on to address the question of whether there is ever a time when a cuss word might be appropriate. READ FULL ARTICLE.
So, what do you think about Christian cussing? Do you agree with Brett? Do you think your friends at school notice something is different about your speech? Do they mock and scoff at people who don’t cuss? Or do they find it somewhat peculiar and secretly admirable?
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Jeremy L. Berg 
Hmmmm… I f*%$king cuss all the time. I grew up in a family that used swear words like punctuation marks.
I’d like to do a study on what “set-apart” and “salt of the earth” really means. I do not think we are “set apart” like a rookie Mickey Mantle card that must be protected and isolated in moisture free, vacuum sealed containers, kept apart from anything dangerous.
I also wonder about “salt of the earth.” That is a phrase with MANY potential meanings. I like to think about salt as bringing out the true flavors of food. Salt-of-the-earth, then, would expose the way the world truly is.
The body of Christ walks a tightrope between being indistinguishable from the world on one hand, and being irrelevant to the world on the other hand. We are leaning strongly towards irrelevance. We’re picking stupid battles to fight (evolution!), our music doesn’t connect with people, our congregations are political lobbyists… the church needs to connect with people. If that involves dropping an F-bomb here and there… it just doesn’t seem to be our most important battle right now.
Who is the “we” who is leaning towards irrelevance? Who is the “we” who are picking stupid battles?
Sounds like you’re setting up as a straw man some backwater, conservative brand of Christian and calling that “we”. Your baseball card image was cute but I think it only describes a fringe of fundamentalists.
How do you personally walk that tightrope? How do you manage to drop the F-bomb while letting “your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt” (Col 4:6). How do you live out James 3:1-12?
And does “teaching on a topic” always mean “fighting a battle”? My question is how do we address the topic of cussing, being salt and light and Christian witness in a room full of teenagers without it becoming pharisaic? Are you suggesting we just don’t bother? If so, I would be curious to know what you think the top 3 reasons Christian teenagers cuss are in the first place?
My guess would be that teens cuss primarily…
1. to fit in socially/be accepted by peers (belonging/identity),
2. because they lack self-control (character),
and 3. it is now habitual – and habits form character, and character seems to be a central part of faith formation (discipleship).
Now, as a pastor called to make young disciples of Jesus conformed to Christ’s character by the transforming power of the Spirit, doesn’t this issue now have a deeper relevance? Cussing often is the tip of a much larger iceberg — with matters of (1) identity, (2) social acceptance, (3) character formation and (4) Christian witness looming just beneath the surface.
And you can be miles away from a backwater fundamentalist without any Mickey Mantle rookie cards (though I do have a Kirby Puckett rookie in plastic) and still care about these 4 things — if you’re called to foster the faith formation of today’s teens.
Appreciate your challenge, Dan. But these are not mere musings for me — this is practical theology on the front lines of discipling teens for me. So, what is the church’s most important battle right now? I would place “formation of Christian character” and “Christian witness” to the onlooking world somewhere near the top… Wouldn’t you?
Not sure I was challenging you. I do not think we disagree. I echo your sentiment that cussing is just the tip of a larger iceberg. It is a symptom.
(P.S. – I do not really cuss all the time. Hardly ever, in fact).
But since it is a symptom… yes. I think we should not get worked up about it. I always think systematically. So, I think those other things you mentioned (on a systems-wide level) are more important than the mere cussing. (1) Identity_ kids I talk to at the adolescent chemical dependency center feel like being a part of the church requires them to be Creationist Republicans. It is wrong that those things are barriers to one’s path to Christ. (2) Social Acceptance _ Churches are accepting in one sense, but they also put up obstacles (and I’m not talking about things like homosexuality). Even as a person trying to understand how personal responsibility and God’s sovereignty work together I am face with cold boundaries and walls. Open Theism is called a “virus,” and a “philosophy of self-loving people.” I’m a grown man. I can handle such silly judgementalism. But what about kids?
Anyway, I think you are right on in your prescription:
(1) Accept kids
(2) Show the VALUE of character
(3) encourage discipleship disciplines.
Later.
Nice. Dan, I love your comments by the way. I also love a little back and forth… So forgive me if I ever fit the characterizations some had of my hero Paul: “His letters are harsh and powerful. But in person, he is a weakling and has nothing worth saying” (2 Cor. 10:10). Thanks for reading!
You make some excellent points Jeremy. Thanks for confronting the issue of “christian” cussing as you have.
Seems like a mighty big stretch to me that “being salt and light” could equal an endorsement of “christian” cussing.