Jeremy L. Berg

The angelic voice and raw faith of Jennifer Knapp provided the soundtrack for much of my own college days as God was helping me discover who I was and where my journey was heading.  She came on the scene quickly, making an impact, attracting a large, loyal fan base and selling a lot of records before…she disappeared for seven years.

Where did she go?  Why did she step out of the spot light and away from the microphone?  Rumors have been swirling for years.

Jennifer is back again.  Her new album is called “Letting Go.”  And she’s being as honest as she has always been in this revealing Christianity Today interview where she shares openly about the past seven years, including speaking openly about her lesbian relationship.

Here’s a snippet of the interview:

CT: A lot of people hit burnout, but I don’t think many think, I’m going to take seven years off. What were you thinking?

Knapp: At the time, I literally thought I was quitting. I needed such a break, and I needed the silence to be deafening. But in the back of my mind I thought, Maybe in a couple of years I’ll come back and give this another go. It was a huge risk to say I may never do this again. It was a real heart wrenching decision.

CT: Once you fulfilled your last obligation, was there a big sigh of relief? Or what?

Knapp: I was scared to death. You just don’t leave something that everyone else says is extremely successful. Some people close to me said I was doing something wrong—that [quitting] was a denial of the gifts I had. I was like, Whoa, hold on a second. I’m just asking for a little bit of time. That was a lot to deal with. It took two or three years to get over the rollercoaster ride of emotions. One day I’d be completely angry; the next day completely heartbroken and devastated; the next raging jealous because somebody’s out there doing something that I love doing and I can’t do it. And some days I was in complete denial. It was almost like a psychological profile of grief. [It took a while] to let the dust settle and figure out what kind of human being was left.

CT: There were rumors that you left music because you were gay.

Knapp: That was a straw [in my decision], but there were many straws on the camel’s back at the time. I’m certainly in a same-sex relationship now, but when I suspended my work, that wasn’t even really a factor. I had some difficult decisions to make and what that meant for my life and deciding to invest in a same-sex relationship, but it would be completely unfair to say that’s why I left music.

CT: Were you involved in a relationship at that time you left?

Knapp: Around 2002, I was starting to contend with this new-found “issue” in my life. But I’d already decided to leave music before I knew I was going to contend with that. I don’t want anyone to think that I ran out of town with my tail between my legs because I had something to hide.

CT: Or that you were run out of town.

Knapp: Or that I was run out of town. Neither is true.

CT: When you wrote The Way I Am, was that a veiled statement about being gay?

Knapp: That record means a lot more to me now than it did at the time. That whole record for me was an exercise in the carnal body of Christ manifested. One of the biggest decisions I was wrestling with then was, If I don’t do Christian music, am I not a believer anymore?

Click HERE to read the full interview.