Jeremy L. Berg

A recent Christianity Today article made me cry. It’s called “The Pastor’s Speech: How ‘The King’s Speech’ Resonates with this Stuttering Preacher”

Why was I so deeply moved by the film The King’s Speech?  Yes, I cried during that, too. (And I’m not easily brought to tears at movies — unless its a kids movie like Up, Despicable Me, or Toy Story!.)  Then why was this preacher’s story of his stuttering in the pulpit so emotional for me as well?

I am not a stutterer or stammerer. Therefore, I shouldn’t really complain. But I am a reluctant preacher who for years has been trying to overcome my own fear of public speaking, and my own struggles with this scary art.

I remember when I was a sophomore in college, and I was pursuing a degree in Elementary Education. The first time I had to stand in the front of a 6th grace Math classroom and teach a lesson on multiplying fractions, I almost had a heart attack.  Sixth graders!  What’s so scary about a bunch of 12 year olds?

I changed majors soon after this.

Now I was a Communication major. Oops. Wrong choice again. Soon I was in the front of a classroom giving a informational speech on ‘Winter Travel Safety Tips’ with props and everything.  I didn’t sleep at all the night before. Terror.  What is so hard about telling a room full of people to carry some kitty litter and an shovel in their trunk in case they get stuck? I was then informed that all Com majors were required to attend a number of Speech Tournaments to earn the degree. No way!  I jumped out of that major immediately.

To my credit, most studies reveal that public speaking is the number one worst fear of most human beings.  Yes, it ranks higher than death itself. Or, as Jerry Seinfeld has said, ”

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

Well, I could avoid professions requiring public speaking easily enough. Or so I thought. Until the day God grabbed my heart and captured my mind with the life-transforming truths of His Holy Scriptures, and gave me a burning passion to share it with others.

I changed my major once again (somehow managing to graduate in 4 years still) to biblical and theological studies, and became a Bible geek.  My intellectual faculties were awakened, and I set myself on a course to become a Bible scholar.  I had no desire or plans of becoming a pastor.  That wasn’t on my radar at all.

But God had other plans for me.

I spent nearly 7 years of higher biblical education, flying back to back through a Bachelor’s degree and then a master’s degree in theology, and I was loving my time alone in libraries filled with books, and in classrooms where I could soak in lecture after lecture. I was a sponge, and enjoyed school immensely. (Not surprising considering my StrengthsFinder strengths include Learner, Input, and Intellection.)

But I eventually reached a boiling over point.  My mind-sponge had reached a point of saturation.  I was inputting constantly, and had no outlet to share all that I was learning.  The Christian faith isn’t meant to be a private, intellectual exercise.  Theology is not meant to be a merely philosophical pursuit.  No, the Scriptures invite participation, and the Bible presents not timeless principles, but Good News to be shared, a new life to be lived in the community of others, and new truths to be taught.

As I neared graduation from Seminary and was making plans for doctoral studies back in 2005, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.  I could no longer be a mere learner, keeping all this knowledge and transformative truth to myself.  I felt like the prophet Jeremiah who put it so poignantly, when he said, “[God’s] word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot” (Jer 20:9).

In 2005, I postponed my purely intellectual pursuits in the world of academia, and reluctantly said ‘yes’ to being used in vocational ministry. I left the safety and comfort of the library and classroom, and entered church ministry.

Back to The King’s Speech and the stuttering preacher article. These hit home for me because I too have a message burning inside that I struggle to clearly articulate.  I desire so much to be a great expositor of the Word.  I want to preach effectively, winsomely, passionately, freely — and yet, I never seem to be able to “get out what’s inside.”  I preach sermons in my head all week long in preparation for Sunday morning.  In my head they are clear, insightful, seamless and compelling.  When I step up to the pulpit something altogether different comes out.

God is gracious.  He chooses the weak and foolish things of this world to shame the strong and wise.  He even uses me.

But it is a struggle.  A holy struggle to handle God’s Word with holy reverence and humility. I still fear public speaking and approach the pulpit with much fear and trembling. Is it because I fear the scorn of man?  Am I merely trying to please people?  Is my fear all of the flesh?  Much of it is. Yet, a good deal of my fear is to be a wise and faithful steward of the gift and call of God on my life.

Friends, read this CT article, and watch The King’s Speech (again), and pray for your pastor this Sunday.  Many of us didn’t choose this vocation on our own. It chose us — and we’re doing the best we can to handle this fire in our hearts, the Word God has shut up in our bones.  Please be gracious to the preacher.  We’re weary of holding it in; in fact, we cannot.  We will preach the Word, but we often won’t be pleased with how it comes out.

On our best Sundays, we see people “cut to the quick” after a sermon, asking us, “What must we do to be saved?”  On our worst Sundays, we drive home in the car with a sense of defeat, muttering under our breath, “Well, I guess God still chooses to speak through an ass….”

To God be the glory either way!

When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God...I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power. (1 Corinthians 2:1-5)