Jeremy L. Berg

“When I met Keri, my life instantly changed from sepia tone to dazzling color. She’s a warm, bright ray of sunshine. See her walk with bare feet planted firmly in rich soil. She’s a down to earth creature with out-of-this-world energy. Everything she touches flourishes, and everywhere she goes color and light and warmth follow. Like a good gardener, she digs into life with both hands, not afraid to get life’s dirt under her nails. She brings beautiful things to life and calls life out of others. She produces endlessly herself, at a pace few can keep up with. If I aspire to be a rock who is steady and reliable, Keri is a garden you want to stretch your picnic blanket out in under the afternoon sun, or frolic through like a carefree child on that summer day you wish would never end. We are planted on this earth to tend our own little gardens, our respective spheres of influence and responsibility: relationships, careers, homes. The most important thing most of us will ever grow is our children… With crazy love for my amazing wife and “co-gardener” who keeps this ripe and busy season of child-rearing so fun and fruitful!”

These words are from the preface of volume 2 of my Fixed To the Rock book sharing personal reflections on faith, family and ministry. The cover photo for the book is one of my favorite images of my beautiful bride. Keri is walking through the wild flowers we planted, carrying the mail she just grabbed on her way home from work. I wrote those words 7 years ago already, and each word remains true. Though I would underscore, highlight and circle the phrase about her living at “a pace few can keep up with” since I’m seven years older and slower now, and more than ever find myself struggling to keep up with her.

Today is our 19th wedding anniversary. Life has been busy, stressful, exhausting and unrelenting. As we dragged ourselves to bed last night, we acknowledged that we’ve been married long enough to not need to have some grand token of our love waiting on the counter in the morning: a gift, a card, flowers, etc. We’ve never been big on gift-giving, and Keri strictly told me early in our courtship NOT to “waste money” buying her flowers. I have been happy to oblige. But then what to give or do?

Like many couples, we give a lot of weight to the “It’s the thought that counts” kind of gestures. Oh, I’ve played the hopeless romantic, writing love songs and poems (which are included in volume 1 of Fixed to the Rock.) She would rather I do the dishes or vacuum the house than buy her flowers. She’s too financially frugal and practical to desire jewelry. Tonight we will celebrate our love by playing in our regular Tuesday night sand volleyball league at Lord Fletchers, and hopefully lingering afterwards for a drink and appetizer.

That said, as I drove out the drive way this morning, I noticed the beautiful wildflowers in full bloom in our yard and remembered Keri did mention one flower gift exception: “Feel free to pick me flowers from our garden any day.”

So, today I came home early and grabbed a bucket and hand pruner, and went to pick the grandest bouquet of home-grown FREE flowers for my love.

Peter joined me, holding the bucket and watching his Romeo dad hard at work picking the biggest and brightest trophies to score points with his mom. When we had a full 5 gallon pale full, and had had enough of the horse flies, we went up to trim them and place them in a vase.

The result? Underwhelming.

The flowers looked great in the garden before they were cut, but they are just on the cusp of beginning to wilt and die. I tried arranging them in the vase, moving them around, propping them up, and pulling out the truly sad and droopy ones. By the time I was done, it was a vase of half-wilted flowers past their prime.

As I ponder this situation and await Keri’s reaction when she gets home, I’m left wondering why we need to cut flowers, rip them from their natural habitat, colonize them in a vase and place them in our artificial habitat of brick and wood. Perhaps next time, instead of bringing the flowers into our home to surprise Keri, I will bring Keri on a walk through the garden to behold their unpicked and unspoiled beauty there where they belong.

Perhaps flowers and marriages both thrive best in God’s rich soil, and both wilt and die when plucked from the ground or cut from the Vine. To apply Jesus’ wisdom to marriage: “I am the vine; your marriage is the branch. If your marriage remains in me and I in your marriage, your marriage will bear much fruit; apart from me your marriage can do nothing. If your marriage does not remain in me, your marriage is like a branch that is thrown away and withers” (John 15:5-6 my paraphrase).

I left a card by the beautiful but quickly wilting flowers that said:

“You GROW beautiful things. Let’s not let our love WILT with age.” :)

Til death, do us part. Even as we slowly wilt physically with age. I’m so lucky to be gardening with this girl … 19 years and counting! (She was 19 when we started dating.)

Happy anniversary, Keri Jo!