Ease Up, My Heart

Lectionary Reflection: 1 John 3:16-24

We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us–and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us. (1 John 3:16-24)

I have a love-hate relationship with John’s first letter to baby Christians scattered across Asian Minor. On the one hand, he writes with the warm tone of a spiritual grandfather, urging Christians to “love one another” and reassuring us with words such as, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” I draw a deep breath and rejoice that I am a beloved child of God.

Then in the next breath he offers the terrifying warning that “no one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him” (1 John 3:6). Gulp. I sinned at least twice this morning before breakfast, losing patience with my children and with a passive aggressive comment to my spouse. Does that mean I’m not even saved? Have I really never seen or known Christ?

John’s moralistic style is very black and white, and his words have kept many new believers doubting their salvation and faith. He continues: “The one who does what is sinful is of the devil” and “No one who is born of God will continue to sin.” He brings the thunder home concluding, “Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child.” Reading 1 John at face value can leave you very disheartened and weighed down by guilt and fear of judgment. I know, I’ve been there.

This week’s lectionary text brings us into a section of 1 John 3 that is equal measures reassuring and unsettling. The phrase that dug into me this week is: “And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”

You see, if I’m being honest, my heart has been condemning me quite a bit lately. My heart desires to honor God by living a life of love and acting in ways worthy of Christ. But I keep falling short. I keep missing the mark. I keep beating my self up in secret, my heart accusing me of being a poor father and crumby husband and inadequate pastor and disengaged member of the community.

One aggravating factor is that I just finished reading The Good Neighbor: The Life and Works of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King this weekend. This biography describes the unfailingly kind, compassionate creator of the beloved Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. My weekend was a seesaw routine of sneaking away to read a chapter on the importance of being positive and patient with children, and then returning to my real-life parenting and flying off the handle with my kids.

Bottomline: I’m no Fred Rogers and reading about him in the throes of my own parenting insecurities made me feel like a complete failure. In John’s language, my heart has been condemning me all weekend. How about you? Can you relate?

I’m not sure John would make a good therapist, honestly. His blunt style reminds me of the Bob Newhart skit where his counsel to person struggling with an unwanted behavior is simple “Stop it!” Watch it below if you haven’t seen it! It’s classic.

But John’s optimistic view of human moral capability is anchored in a high view of the Spirit of God invading the life of a believer. As we get swept up in the orbit of God’s self-giving love, we begin to practice this love as well. We don’t just talk about it, write about it, preach sermons about it; we live it. “Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”

John sees God’s very life and power as taking up residence in our life, and beginning to change us from the inside out. If God by the Spirit is busy rearranging our interior and doing a home remodel of our heart, then the walls and furniture and paint job of our life will begin to give some evidence that God has been at work.

Likewise, an interior life that seems completely void of God’s remodeling presence may indicate God’s absence: “How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?”

John’s message in our passage today has a clear logic to it, and leaves us with both a challenge and some reassurance. The logic is simply this:

Jesus has shown us the epitome of human love by laying down his life for others.
We are called to replicate that love in how we treat others.
Our deeds demonstrate the degree to which God is active inside us and transforming us, or absent in us and therefore not influencing us.
But there’s grace and hope for those of us who fail to live up to Jesus’ and Mister Roger’s moral examples: On those days when our heart condemns us, we can crawl to the throne of grace and draw comfort knowing that “God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”

Let that sink in today. God knows everything about you and your inner struggles. He knows all your secret thoughts and secret sins. He knows all the ways your own heart is beating you down and making you feel inadequate and unlovable. And despite knowing every single one of your faults and flaws, all the ways you are failing to love God and love others like Jesus, His heart is greater than your heart. His heart is expansive and generous and overflowing with grace and patience and forgiveness.

So, today will you pat your petty and accusing heart on the head, and say, “Ease up, will you? I’m a work in progress. I belong to God and He is slowly at work in renovating my heart. There’s going to be a lot of dust in the air until His work is done.”

Until my heart softens and aligns with His, I will take heart in the Scriptural truth that “God is greater than my heart” and His heart toward me is love. May you show yourself the same kindness this week “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:6).