Jeremy L. Berg

  On this week of my 30th birthday I am sharing some personal journal entries that provide a window into the trials and triumphs I faced during the decade of my tumultuous 20s.  

You are about to read one of my most cherished journal entries of all time.  I am so glad I took the time to write down my thoughts immediately following my first date with the one I would eventually marry.  What a treasure these memories are!  Get ready for a gooey love story!

May 10, 2003

I could write all night!  My mind is racing a million miles an hour.  My heart is filled with crazy emotions.  The best, most descriptive word I can find to express my feelings right now is probably “gooey.”  My mind is mush, my heart is soft and fragile.  I have let myself completely slide into the risky waters of love.  I have a major crush.  And I think she may be feeling the same, which is the most amazing part. 

Today marked Keri and my first official date together.  I picked her up at Edgren Hall.  She came down wearing a cute long white skirt or wrap and a pink shirt.  She looked absolutely beautiful!  Does she realized that she matches the ideal woman in my mind?  She doesn’t realize that I have always pictured myself marrying a 5’9″ blondie who needs not one touch of make-up to make her face shine beautifully. Since she rarely dresses up, she looked exceptionally stunning in my eyes…

We went to Church of the Open Door… After church we ended up on Grand Avenue at a Caribou Coffee to sit and chat… Eventually we left to buy cards for Mother’s Day…  After buying a card, we went back to Bethel to find a secluded stairwell so I could serenade her on my guitar.  

What an amazing time!!  A wonderful time of me being cute and shy and eventually coming out of my shell and singing for her.  We hardly exchanged a word for almost an hour or so, but the look on her face was priceless and says more than a thousand nice words to me.   The look on her face reassured me that she really likes me and enjoys being with me.  I can’t wait to see that look again.  It is a look that one only gives to someone they think is very special.  I feel bad that I didn’t look at her more during this time.  I wanted to hold her.  Maybe the music said enough. 

We had one neat moment when she came and sat next to me and we played a song together on the guitar.  She held the neck of the guitar and I held the base. She fingered “Amazing Grace” while I strummed with my right hand as my left arm timidly wrapped around her back.  Then I played a few chords with my arm wrapped all the way around in a hugging embrace.  I can’t wait to really hug her.  I can’t get over just glancing at her as I would finish a song.  She had the biggest, warmest, sincerest smile.  I couldn’t look at her when I played or sang.  

My favorite song I played was “Table For Two” by Caedmon’s Call which talks about a guy who is wondering if he is ever going to meet “the one” and how God has great plans for us and we must wait patiently for him to reveal them.  I hope Keri is part of my future plans.  I hope Keri is “the one.”  There, I said it.  It is such foolishness to say such a thing so soon, but I honestly feel this way.  Why can’t this be IT?  Dad always says that he “just knew” right away that mom was the one.  Why can’t this be the same?  

Well, I must stop such foolishness for the night.  But I am sure my dreams will be very sweet indeed tonight.  Perhaps, in my dreams tonight I can resume the date from right before I had to reluctantly say good bye.  Keri, if you only knew how excited you could make a person feel just by being YOU.  Don’t change.  You are sweet, you are beautiful.  Hopefully, soon you will be mine!

After guitar playing, I brought her back to drop her off.  I hate goodbyes.  I almost always say something stupid during goodbyes.  Well, it was a little awkward, and she started to get out immediately when I asked for a hug.  She gladly hugged me and then got out.  I said jokingly, “I hope I can take you out again.”  She said, “You better!”  And she left.  I’m a bone head and never thought til afterwards of walking her to the door. What a putz!  I’m such a dufus. I’ll just tell her I was nervous and forgot.  She’ll think its funny.  

This journal entry included a written prayer to God.  Another treasure.  

Lord, how our emotions and feelings can deceive and lead astray.  I pray that you would give me discernment and wisdom to harness these emotions.  God, I pray that your blessing would be on this new relationship. I pray that you would make it what you would have it to be.  I pray that I would honor you in the way I treat Keri and the things we do together would bring glory to your Name.  I pray that our friendship, at whatever level we are at, would reflect the selfless love you have for us which you demonstrated in the life of your perfect son, Jesus Christ. Lord, bring peace and comfort to Keri’s racing mind and don’t let her mind be swept away into overanalyzing things.  Let things happen naturally between us and in good timing.  Let love have its way.  Amen. 

As a high school pastor these days, I address the topic of dating relationships each spring.  How I wish I could convince all of our teens to pursue God-honoring relationships that would be anchored in prayer and that all of the boys in my youth group would pray as I did here to honor the way they treat their girl.  My relationships in high school did not look like this either.  This is another area of my life that God completely transformed.  Praise Him!